Congrats to the Class of 2019
There have been so many incredible posts on social media about high school reunions, proms, college and high school graduations. Even the graduations from PreK seem to tug at my heart.
HOW has time moved so quickly?
I remember some of these students playing T-ball with my son and now they have mustaches, taller than me and walking across that stage happily to receive their diploma. Even my youngest son graduated from 8th grade and heading to high school in a couple of months.
Life brings about swift transitions. I remember feeling so many emotions last year as my oldest son graduated from high school. The stress and strain of his senior year had taken it’s toll on my physical and mental body. The competition to get in college is fierce. We’d spent money for training prep on college entrance exams, paid for his senior package, prom, college applications, invitations, grad photos, etc. etc. etc.
By the end of 2018, I ended up on medical leave for weeks taking a much needed BREAK from LIFE.
If I could only have told myself earlier in the year to CALM down and carry on. I wish someone would have hit me over the head and said, “stop stressing”. But they couldn’t because I didn’t tell anyone. Even the woman that knows me best (my identical twin sister) didn’t realize I was drowning. I was drowning from life. Women can NOT have it ALL. That’s another thing I wish someone would have told me before I set out to conquer the world.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful husband. Our roles in the home are 50/50 well probably more 30/70 because I spend so much time traveling for work. Geographically I cover the entire East US and Canada. That level of responsibility brings a high level of stress. Everyone thinks traveling is glamorous until you are the one waking at 4am to board an airplane or sitting in an unknown city for a 6 hour flight delay. Although I have a very hands on & supportive husband (70/30 shared responsibility), I found myself shouldering 90% of the mental planning of the home. Now explain how that is possible?
WHY wouldn’t I just give it to God? Why did I not trust in His word to make my burden lighter?
In my normal Roslyn fashion, I would just smile and present the me that had it ALL together. Isn’t that what we do - suffer in silence? We miss all the warning signs that say, “mental overload” and find a way to power through. Aren’t we trained to keep quiet? Quietly, I felt overwhelmed. Life was dragging ME vs me grabbing life.
The reality of my life in 2018 - I was a wreck. Staying up late making list planing 4 graduation parties. Thinking constantly about the financial impact of having a son AWAY in college. Worried what his first year would be like in school - would he sink or swim? Would he miss me as much as I missed him? Would he eat the type of organic meals I liked to prepare for him? Who would do his grocery shopping? What would his roommates be like? Would my black son come home every night SAFE? Would he have an asthma attack that caused an ER visit?
I ushered myself right into an anxiety I had never known. A torment that kept me up at night thinking of the worse situations.
Can I offer you a little advice? STOP worrying, it’s going to be ok. YOU are going to make it. It doesn’t matter if it’s your send off to Kindergarten or college, your kids will RISE to the occasion. You’ve prepared your children for this moment. I found comfort in the fact that God is everywhere. I knew like he said in Psalm 91 - His angels would watch over Tyler.
If you have kids going off to college - do NOT be a helicopter parent. Mistakes will be made, tough days will happen, test will be failed, you won’t like every roommate, they will eat JUNK food, you will be overwhelmed with emotion but a NEW chapter has begun. STRAP on and enjoy the ride. REST in the presence of God. God is with you so do not fear. God is with them, that means they are NEVER alone.